ORDINARY GIRLS!

We are all ordinary... to begin with.

On my many monthly lunches with my unpaid PA, also known as my best friend of thirty five years plus Carrie, (you will probably see her name pop up quite a lot) she pointed out that throughout my hexalogy of OGEW and with my other (part finished) books there is a theme, now this theme was unintentional however it was of strong women. Women who get held down, pushed aside, discarded and judged, but despite this, or in spite of this they rise, because they have to and they need to.

I wouldn't necessarily describe myself as a strong woman, I suffer anxiety at times and I can dissolve into a puddle of tears at the drop of hat. I cover a lot of pain & disappointment with humour & sweary words, but I would say that I don't give up easy, I am stubborn and I will try to empower. I will always tell my bright, beautiful daughter that she can be or do anything, she is capable, she is stronger than she realises and she is who she is and shouldn't offer any apology for being her.

So how do the Ordinary Girls we were, become the Extraordinary Women we become?

Simple answer is - life happens!

I have thought long and hard about this subject in the writing of my books - At what point during the transition from children, through teenage years to adulthood do we start feeling insecure whether its about our dress size, how we speak, how we look - what happens to make the younger us think everyone that looks at us is thinking something negative, or thinking about us at all!, they are probably thinking about bills, what they are going to cook for dinner, about the job they might despise or the twat they wake up next to every morning - or maybe they are thinking 'she has nice hair', 'I like her shoes' but somehow along the way we have moments that we think we are a lesser being, and even more so now in the age social media.

At the grand old age of 51 I would like to think that I have learned a few things over the years. First and foremost, I am me, I have to live with me as there isn't any other option, all the things I don't like about me I could change if I wanted to put the work in (yes, I have gym membership and no, I don't have a lot of willpower) I packed up smoking a few years back for my health and I put on 3 stone.

If I don't want to do something - I Don't! - this isn't being selfish, its being truthful. HOWEVER... we all have to do what we have to do, and I will do things if I know it will make my partner, children or family happy.

In my relationship we are both an equal part of the team, neither has a casting vote, neither of us wears the trousers... we share a leg each. Nobody has the right to hang their insecurities onto another person.

Those that talk loudest and longest aren't always right - my late dad once told me its best to keep your mouth shut and look like an idiot than open your mouth and prove it... (he actually didn't say idiot, the word he used started with a C and ended with a T. ) which gets me onto my family, I am the youngest of 6 and the best thing I ever learned was the ability to laugh at myself. growing up we didn't have much, money was scarce and loo roll was even scarcer, but we had love and laughter and that was worth a lot.

There are things I regret - I wanted to be a historian and I believed the careers officer when she said 'People like me don't do jobs like that and a typing course would serve me better. spending more time worrying about losing my parents than spending the time with them when they were alive, wishing away the school run because when it ends the kids are grown up and you cannot get the time or their innocence back.

I have been married, divorced, I have been skint, I have been wealthy, I have felt like I wasn't good enough, (thank you careers officer) I had lost both my parents by the time I was 43, and watch my daughter fight cancer... every part of my journey has made me less ordinary.

You are never to old to do what you want to do - at 40 I started writing a book, at 50 I decided that I wanted to finish it, however it turned out to be six books. at 51 my first book has been published. You are never to old to try new things, at 48 I had my nose pierced, I drove a Mustang from Palm Springs to Las Vegas and then back to Los Angeles, at 49 I towed a 20ft caravan with a 15ft car for the first time and I have a big old bucket list of things to do.

And its not too late to love yourself, for who you were, who you are and who you can be.